Girl Summer is Officially Over: Saying Good-Bye to Liam Payne
Mourning Girlhood, One Direction, and Our Rights, apparently
If 2023 was the year of the girl, then 2024 is contrastingly, decidedly, not. Before the final nail in the coffin of girlhood summer was the election of Donald Trump for a second term, the death knell was already ringing when news broke of former One Direction member Liam Payne’s tragic death at only 31 years old.
Payne’s death came only a week after his former fiancee Maya Henry came forward with allegations about Payne’s mistreatment of her during their four year relationship. From these allegations, the public came to learn more about the troubling nature of their relationship that took place behind closed doors. Payne had been open in the past about his struggles with mental health, addiction, and suicidal ideation. While there was brief speculation about Payne’s death being self-inflicted, the authorities in Argentina quickly ruled the incident an accident and later arrested three people in connection with Payne’s death, including a hotel staffer and drug dealer.
With his death coming so soon after public discourse about his actions against Henry, there was conflict amongst the feelings of mourners and onlookers alike. On one hand, it’s important to not sweep under the rug Payne’s flaws and alleged abuse in the name of not wanting to speak ill of the dead. But on the other hand, for many, Payne’s role in their young lives cannot be understated. As a member of One Direction, Payne was part of a massive cultural phenomenon. Legitimacy and respect still has yet to be placed on boy bands, they’re still seen as less sophisticated, teeny-bopperish, something for children and not grown adults to enjoy. But as far as boy bands go, One Direction is arguably the largest in terms of global reach, cultural impact, and musical ability. In a piece celebrating the ten-year anniversary of their founding, Rolling Stone called them “one of the great rock & roll bands of the 21st century.” Sorry to NSYNC, Backstreet Boys, and Hanson, they got us to this point, but One Direction and in the latter half of the 2010s, BTS, are the definitive boybands of this generation, and perhaps ever. I can understand how it seems like every big musical act that attracts a large and passionate crowd gets compared to the Beatles and Taylor Swift, but I really do think One Direction is that band for the internet age.
It also cannot be overstated the role of the internet and social media in One Direction’s success, and likewise the role of One Direction and its fans in the creation of the internet, social media, fandom, and stan culture as we know it. Entire books have been written on the topic, some I even used to inform my dissertation writing about pop fandoms at large. Kaitlyn Tiffany’s book Everything I Need, I Get From You, which itself borrows from a One Direction lyric for its title, delves specifically into the relationship between fandom and the internet, specifically focusing on the One Direction fandom to tell that story, while Hannah Ewens’ Fangirls explores the history of fandom and fan activities through the lens of her own experiences in the One Direction fandom.
In her new book on fandom, Maria Sherman writes about boybands’ historical dismissal by the traditional musical establishment, “I do think a lot of it is this internalized perception of what is “good,” and that’s the rock songwriter — and that’s not what boy bands are.” The thing that those who would dismiss One Direction as a mere boyband are missing is that their songwriting was a massive part of their appeal, and it was sophisticated enough to be increasingly embraced by music critics in the years since their hiatus. In addition to all five of the band members writing songs for the group, they also frequently collaborated with industry songwriters Savan Kotecha and Carl Falk, Jamie Scott, and Julian Bunetta, some of whom still write with the One Direction members, now working as solo artists. While all of them wrote, Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson were considered the most prolific of the group, writing collectively 40 of the band’s tracks across five albums.
In addition to their legitimately good pop music, One Direction also represented a changing view on masculinity. Never ones to kiss and tell, nor have an ill word for their largely female fanbase, even when prompted by media outlets looking for a soundbite, One Direction has been regarded as presenting examples of positive masculinity, both in hindsight and at the time. (x x)
After One Direction went on their indefinite hiatus and Harry Styles became the breakout solo star that it was always expected he would be, the other members ventured out on their own, developing their own styles and audiences to varying degrees of success. After Styles, Niall Horan appears to be doing something right in terms of his solo career. After a slow and steady rise, Horan’s just completed a massive tour supporting his third solo album and he’s also appeared as a coach on the US Voice. Zayn Malik as the first member to go solo, leaving the band in 2015, started strong with his single “Pillowtalk,” but then appeared to lose steam musically amidst issues going on in his personal life involving the split from his partner Gigi Hadid. He’s recently released a new album that has been decently well-received and has been living a slow life on a farm in Pennsylvania with his daughter he shares with Hadid. Louis Tomlinson is something of an underdog. Consistently underrated, even during his time in the band, Tomlinson has developed a very devoted fanbase despite his lack of critical acclaim. He’s only released two albums, plus a live album, but he appears to be touring constantly and I’ve personally seen nothing but praise from fans who have gone to his live shows. Payne, for his part as a solo artist, struggled. Amongst the last to release his first solo album, and with two years between first single “Strip That Down,” and his album LP1, he went for an electronic, kind of R&B and trap style which just seemed so counteractive to any of the styles we might have expected from him, like an easy-listening crooner, which he had the voice for, or just a solid pop album, which he proved he could write. When he released “Teardrops,” his first single for what would have been his second album, I actually let out a sigh of relief. It felt like he finally found it — his sound, his style, the kind of music he should have been making all this time. Collaborating again with One Direction songwriter Jamie Scott and bringing in JC Chasez of NSYNC fame, Payne was able to showcase his truly incredible singing voice while also tapping into a style of pop music that is due for a resurgence and no one else is really utilizing in this current moment. I was truly so excited for this next era of solo Liam Payne music, and a real part of this tragedy is that we only ever got one album from him, we will likely never hear what LP2 was meant to be, and even if we ever did get to hear it, he won’t be here to know that he finally did it, he found his sound and his career was on the right track.
Possibly because of his struggles within his own solo career, Payne was the biggest carrier of the flame for One Direction. As the years went by and the other members were hard at work in their own careers, Payne was consistently bringing attention back on himself through mentions of and references to the band. For example, he was often seen visiting the other band members at their solo shows, which was seen at the time as “cringe” as he would appear on balconies above fans knowing it would garner a large amount of attention. That was the reason for Payne being in Argentina in the first place, to see Horan perform. Initially, it looked like it was impossible for Payne to let go of the glory days, but now in hindsight, and with greater weight given to his personal struggles, maybe it was more that he was always the glue that held the band together.
From the beginning, it was Payne that took the band most seriously. Not necessarily that the other members didn’t, but Payne was so serious about it that the other members called him “Daddy Direction” for how serious and no-nonsense his approach was, even from the earliest days of the group. This possibly makes sense if Payne believed that Cowell had built the band around him, a story he told in a podcast with Logan Paul. After that episode was released, The X Factor UK posted never-before-seen footage of judges Simon Cowell and Nicole Scherzinger putting the band together, initially singling out Niall Horan and Louis Tomlinson, with Scherzinger saying they would look good together in a band. Payne later apologized for the unkind way he spoke about the band and the other band members during this period of time, but some fans did start to think this demonstrated a spiteful quality in Payne, that he lied or over-exaggerated his sense of importance in the band because of his own ego. But if it’s possible that Cowell really did tell Payne that the band was built around him, that might explain the sense of duty and responsibility that Payne felt towards the band. In any case, in the years following the hiatus announcement, Payne was the one most holding on to the possibility of a reunion and made the most effort to stay connected to the other members.
Despite his personal shortcomings, his addictions, his abuse allegations, and his moments of putting his foot in his mouth, either because of his addictions or his frustrations with his own career, none of that meant that anyone was wishing for his violent, tragic death. In all of the rightful mourning of Payne as he used to be, Payne as a father, a partner, a son, and a brother, there’s also a mourning of possibility. This wasn’t how it was supposed to end for him. He was supposed to get better, he was supposed to get help, he was supposed to make amends, then he was supposed to make the best music of his career. And so, of course second to the loss of life and the loss of a loved one for his family and friends, the biggest loss if of any kind of redemption.
Some fans noted that while we’ll never get the reunion we, and Payne, wanted, but the first time all the members will be together since their hiatus in 2015 will be at Payne’s funeral. It’s not to say that had Payne still been alive, a reunion might have ever come to fruition either, but his death definitely puts a definitive no on that possibility. This is also a tough moment for the other members of One Direction, not least because they lost a friend, a brother, someone that they spent a significant experience in their libes with, but they will always be tied to this tragedy. Now part of the One Direction story, and every time the band is mentioned in headlines from now until the end of days, will include the fact that one of the members is no longer here. Payne’s death has also shown just how large the One Direction family was and still is. Names that many fans hadn’t thought about in years suddenly resurface to send us back to our 13, 14, 15 year old selves. From the other members posting their own goodbyes to their brother, to the band’s former hair and makeup artist Lou Teasdale to former One Direction girlfriends Danielle Peazer (who dated Payne from 2010 to 2013) and Eleanor Calder, Tomlinson’s partner during the band years. Other artists and musicians including Rita Ora, Shawn Mendes, Maggie Rogers, and Jonas Brothers have paid tribute to Payne either by speaking publicly about him or by playing a song in his honor during one of their shows.
With Payne’s death, there has also been discussion about the factors and conditions that led us to this tragic moment. Most of the blame has been laid at Simon Cowell’s feet, and at the feet of the music industry at large, for not doing more to protect its young artists, and at times, being the danger they need protection from. One former X Factor contestant, Rebecca Ferguson, wrote that she believes if Payne never auditioned for the show, if he “hadn’t jumped on that train and jumped in that taxi…he would be alive today.” Another former contestant with Payne, Katie Waissel, called for an investigation into Simon Cowell and his SyCo Entertainment company for “negligence and breach of duty of care.”
Cowell is far from the first entertainment manager to mistreat their clients. Managers have been known to overwork, embezzle from, and manipulate their clients, some even going so far as to get their clients addicted to drugs in order for them to work and later, to sleep. While nothing specific has been proven against Cowell, the facts are that One Direction put out five albums in three and a half years, were touring constantly throughout that time and released two concert movies and a documentary. The notion that these boys were overworked is one that can be easily arrived at through context clues. Not only that, but after the hiatus in 2015, Cowell said in an interview that his only regret about the band is that he doesn’t own the name, the five band members do. He doesn’t regret taking these five young men and turning them into the biggest band in the world with no regard for their mental health or physical well-being, he doesn’t regret the role he played in creating the conditions that would lead to Payne’s addiction troubles. No, his biggest regret is that he can’t continue to make money off of them. Before Payne’s death, another boyband Why Don’t We countersued their former manager for alleged financial and emotional abuse, after first being sued for breach of contract. They allege that they were monitored 24/7, their food was restricted, they were verbally abused, and and they were confined to tight quarters, being forced to share two small bedrooms amongst the five of them. While their trial into the abuse allegations has been ongoing for over a year, an outcome favorable to the band combined with the high-profile nature of Payne’s death does create some hope that we might see legislation to protect young musicians, much like we’ve seen advocacy to protect young internet personalities akin to the way child actors are protected.
When Liam Payne died, I was in a deep sleep, napping after being at work all day. I woke up from my nap around dinner time and was promptly informed of the news. It seemed so shocking at the time, not just because he was so young, but also because just the week before, his name was being discussed in relation to Maya Henry’s allegations. It just didn’t seem plausible that his name should be attached to this very tragic and very permanent end. I, like many, felt conflicted in my mourning. Of course we would never discount the very real harm he caused throughout his life, but he also represented a time in our young lives that was formative and that we still hold deep fondness for. For many One Direction fans, our love for this band and our fandom as young girls is foundational to who we are now as adult women. Before the summer of 2023, the summer of the girl, the summer of Eras Tour and Love on Tour and Barbie, being a fangirl wasn’t exactly celebrated. Hell, having any sort of “feminine” interests hasn’t historically been celebrated. And for much of my young teens, being a fangirl was a bad thing. It meant that you were obsessive, delusional, overly excited, and not very musically sophisticated. I am thankful that this is no longer the case, at least not to the degree it was. Now fangirl is synonymous with passion and community and creativity. And many of the young teenage fangirls are now grown women in the music industry, so we’ve come a long way. But I still have this internal shame associated with being a fangirl, so much so that for the longest time I shoved my fandom down and away. It’s only been because of girl summer and going to Love on Tour that I’ve been able to start reconnecting with that part of me that I’ve kept hidden. In addition to this numb feeling I had about Payne’s death, both from literally the week before hearing about very real harm he caused and from being disconnected from that part of me that loved him for so long, I had to remember that there was a time and a version of me, little 13 year old me that would have married him had she been given the chance. So it was for that 13 year old girl, who would’ve never thought in a million years she’d be mourning his death, it was for her that I mourned. I owe a lot to Liam Payne. I thought I was missed by the fangirl bug when I never got into Justin Bieber, and I thought I was above getting swept up in the One Direction craze too. But then I remember watching the video for “What Makes You Beautiful” and feeling, begrudgingly, that I didn’t hate what I was hearing. Although I would say now that I am a born-again Harry girl, something about Liam Payne, maybe the floppy curly hair, made me a Liam girl throughout junior high and going into 9th grade. It’s because of One Direction, and more specifically Payne, that I became a fangirl, an identity I now wear with pride, and that has become a defining feature of who I am.
During summer of the girl, I was studying pop music fandoms as part of my research for my Master’s dissertation. I was researching the ways that pop fandom and scenes are similar and different. In the end, I decided that they’re not very different at all. Scenes are usually taken more seriously in the literature, treated as delicate subcultures to be respected, each with its own rules, style of dress, language, and hierarchy. Fandom has long been disrespected, treated as something childish and unserious, something to grow out of. But I argued that, at least the fandoms that I’ve been apart of, also have their own rules and dress, language, and hierarchy. The only reason that scene and pop fandoms are considered more different than they are alike is because scenes are associated with the more masculine genres like rock, country, and jazz, which are respectable, and fandoms are associated with pop music, which is seen as feminine and considered juvenile and unsophisticated. Going to the Harry Styles concert as a fandom researcher was great fun as I watched all the fans in their feather boas, teaching each other the boot scoot, and just having fun in community with each other. I was seeing fandom right before my eyes.
In light of recent events and including Payne’s death, that girlhood joy I saw amongst Harries feels so far away right now. Thanks to Taylor Swift and her Eras Tour, Beyonce, Harry Styles, and Barbie, women and young girls started to find collective power in our joy, in celebrating together, and we all needed that after the pandemic and after entering adulthood and just trying to survive while losing ourselves, our identities and our joy to capitalism and climate change and conservatism. Summer of the girl gave us hope, and a chance to connect, and now we’re going to need that community again. I wish it was under better circumstances, but Payne’s death has led us all to finding each other once again. Internet friends reaching out after years, new friends being made through collective grief, strangers reaching out to the fangirls in their lives affected. Let Liam Payne’s passing and the love we still have for this band bring us together as we build community and collective action in those communities to build a better future.
